Is porn good for Moms?
By Tom Quiner
Mark your calendar.
The year is 2012 and porn has gone mainstream with Moms.
“Fifty Shades of Grey” is a New York Times best seller. The target audience for this pornographic novel? Women.
How do I know it’s pornographic? I haven’t read it, nor will I. I’m basing this judgement from reliable critics of the culture, such as Al Kresta of Ave Maria Radio.
A blogger describes the premise of the book this way:
In the book, the lead male character, Christian, sweeps a young virgin, Ann, off her feet. As a pseudo-relationship is forged, however, the women is asked to sign a contract in which she agrees to essentially become the slave — sexual and otherwise — of her new superior. “The Dominant accepts the submissive as his, to own, control dominate and discipline,” agrees the couple, “for purpose of discipline [and]…for his own personal enjoyment.”
Branded as a romance novel by the publishers and their marketers, cultural commentators express alarm at the mainstreaming of porn with … women.
So the question is asked, anything wrong that? Yes, says Dr. Meg Meeker, pediatrician:
“If you’re a mom and reading (or enjoying) the blockbuster 50 Shades of Gray, shame on you. Not only are you setting a
Dr. Meg Meeker
horrible example for your daughter (or son), you will embarrass her if her friends find out, you will be participating in the moral demise of your culture and most importantly, you will be hurting yourself.”
Strong words. The novel evidently portrays the woman as an object. She consents to be used as an object of a man’s lust. I thought the woman’s movement has spent the last 40 years working against this sort of thing? Dr. Meeker continues:
“These are strong words but indulge me with an explanation. Every woman feels lust. That’s a good thing, because it keeps us wanting to be closer to our mates. But when we take that lust and channel it into voyeuristic, distorted and downright unhealthy ways, we end up emotionally dull and even depressed. I have never heard a woman who has read pornography (or “erotica as some of you who play mind games with yourselves), say that it enhanced her life. Not one. But I have listened to many parents (mothers and fathers) who have felt the intense pain of emotional and family destruction because of it. Don’t fool yourself, it’s powerful stuff. And the place that it takes you is nowhere good. I can guarantee that.”
Dr. Meeker characterizes the risk of this type of “literature” as the potential to destroy a family. I’ve been listening to Dr. Meeker on the radio for years. She’s bright, no make that a genius. She’s a mother and best seller author. Don’t discount her warning:
“I believe that it is a parent’s responsibility to keep their children from humiliation. When a mother has an affair or a father is found cheating on his income tax, they aren’t the only ones harmed. The children stand in the wings and endure tremendous embarrassment. There are so many ways in which we unwittingly hurt our children, refusing to read pornography is a really easy way to avoid this.”
Dr. Meek reveals the disturbing risk of consumption of this type of stuff:
“But I say shame on you who read for another reason. Studies have clearly shown that reading or watching pornography is intimately tied up in child abuse. No, not everyone who reads becomes a child abuser. That’s not the point. But ask yourself if you want to participate in something which causes so many others to hurt children? When you read porn, you entertain yourself with the same material as child abusers. Is that really something that you want to do?”
The year is 2012. Is this the year we allow the culture to plummet lower? Or is this the year we fight back?
Join me. Let’s fight back.
Reblogged this on The Peanut Gallery and commented:
Peanut Gallery – My wife attended a monthly luncheon get-together for mostly senior women in our community – usually they have a community speaker. But not this time, it was all table talk – about “50 Shades of Grey” and Mike Whatever. She didn’t know what they were talking about, so they explained – “a beautiful love story”… fun movie – let’s all go together.
She wasn’t having any of it. This article explains why – you don’t have to dig very deep to find the dirt.
Truly frightening. I was recently in a workplace where the women, professionals of all levels, were all aflutter over this, gushing, passing the books around, telling me I have to read them. One or two seemed to indicate they needed to skip over some of the racier parts, but they were clearly hooked. They told me it draws you in, you can’t put it down. They were actually bummed at the thought of what they would be facing when they completed the final one. Nothing short of truly frightening. One said they’re better than Twilight. That can be taken a number of ways to be sure. How sad our world has become. We could use a big dose of God and pronto.
The question is, what does one say in these situations? How about, “Is that good for your soul?” Or … “how would members of your Church feel if they knew you enjoy reading softcore porn?” Or … “Do you think Jesus is proud of you for reading stories that treat a woman as being nothing more than a sexual plaything of a man?” Or … “Are you setting a good example for kids for reading this type of stuff?” I don’t always have a good response when I encounter these types of situations in public. I’m trying to be prepared when it comes up next. Thanks for writing. Always good to hear from you.
It is so easy to think that this kind of thing is harmless literature but it clearly isn’t. It harms our soul and desensitizes us to the seamier side of life.
How is it that strong, independent women can possibly celebrate or get any pleasure out of reading about a woman agreeing to become the slave of a man?
How can women not see this for what it is – seduction by Satan?
As I have said before, I walked out of Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” because I thought it contained too much graphic violence. I was shocked when I read later that parents were taking their kids to see it. In my opinion, its “R” Rating should have been an “M” Rating.
I can’t say I have read this book nor would I recommend it. I have seen the video of comedian Gilbert Goldfrey reading parts of the book and agree it is very graphic. Being a Barry Goldwater conservative, I do think an adult should be allowed to read what they want. If it offends you, don’t read it.
If mothers were forcing their under-age daughters to read it, I may agree with you, but I have heard no such reports.
The issue isn’t whether someone has a right to read what they want. The issue is whether it is good for their mental health, good for their soul, and if it is a good example to their children and the folks around them.
My sister read “The Happy Hooker” when she was in High School (among many other books), and it caused a stir in my house when my Aunt found out. My sister and her husband have been together almost forty years now, having raised three great kids. BTW – my sister and her family have always been very active in the church.
I haven’t seen MagicMike but I would assume everyone here would be against that also? I bring it up because it has the same effect on women. It makes them horny. If that helps a couple put a little spice in their sex lives, then I see no harm. Like I said before, I have not heard anything about children being forced (or even choosing) to read this book.
To clarify what I said above, I would think taking your kid to watch two hours of graphic violence and torture would affect the psyche much more.
Excessive violence corrodes the soul as well for the same reason as sexual porn: it turns human beings into objects. It desensitizes us to the humanity in others.
You know, I’d understand if MEN were getting into softcore porn about a woman agreeing to become a man’s sexual slave (I wouldn’t approve, but it would at least make sense)… but WOMEN getting into this? What the heck? Am I missing something?
I’m not even in my 30’s yet, but thanks to the proliferation of garbage like this in all forms of media, I’m so alienated and cynical about our culture (and by extension many of my acquaintances) that I feel about 70. It’s not much fun spending 90% of your life feeling like a soldier behind enemy lines.
J- I think I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel like I should have been born into a different time. I don’t like today’s popular culture and feel like I am at war against it…by myself.
People need to guard their eyes and their hearts against this kind of trash. A question I would ask myself (and I do!), “Is this something God wants me to see or do?”
This culture needs some serious help. It has no idea what true love is. There’s so little of that gentle Christian spirit left. I’m not surprised this crap is popular. I read literary mags quite often and the trash that passes for literature is astounding. Not only is there no spark of kindness or humanity but there’s also very little nuance or emotion. Just physical pleasure and physical brutality. It’s a rather stark and soulless world out there right now.
I’m in a group that meets in a local coffee shop in town very early for a group called “Catechism & Coffee.” I mention this because this group exudes kindness and humanity. And we’re but one little group among so many of the faithful pursuing the faith with hearts that are on fire. I mention this because I agree with your take that we’re surrounded by trash. That’s what the popular culture throws at us by the bucketful. My advice to counteract is: 1. Keep the faith; 2. Pray 3. Fight back. It’s one of the reason I blog. As always, thanks for writing. I love your blog.
the only thing that woman is missing is a burqua? not sure of the spelling