By Tom Quiner
The preacher was famous for his sermons.
Even the faithful in the next county over knew of his prolific, seat-squirming eloquence.
You could count on these elements in each sermon, except for those that he directed at the children. He dispensed a more toned down rhetoric for the little Christians in his flock.
On this particular Sunday, the preacher made a foray into the New Testament for a change of pace. As much as he loved expounding on the Old Testament’s God of justice, he thought he should spend a little time talking about Jesus.
Mustering all of his brilliance, he distilled the essence of Jesus Christ into a one hour sermon dumbed down to a level a child could understand.
He talked about His virgin birth.
He talked about His parables.
The kids’ eyes were wide open when the preacher’s voice rose to the rafters and practically shook the roof off the church as he thundered about the Crucifixion.
And then he went silent.
You could hear a pin drop.
The preacher leaned forward. To engage the kids, he decided to ask a question:
“Does anyone know what the resurrection is?”
A little boy tentatively raised his hand.
The preacher smiled broadly and said,
“Yes, Bobby, tell us what the resurrection is.”
Little Bobby stood, scratching the back of his head:
“All I know is that if you get one lasting more than 4 hours, you’re supposed to call a doctor.”
[Adapted by Quiner’s Diner from an online joke someone e-mailed to me.]