The modern exhibitionists

By Tom Quiner

Should human dignity be defined by an individual’s desires?

I hope not. If you’re like me, not all of your desires are noble and dignified. I read Dear Abby today and was struck by the undignified subject matter. A happily married woman (“Bi in the Deep South”) realized that she is also sexually attracted to women.

She felt a need to “come out” and publicly proclaim her newfound desires on Facebook.

Abby wasn’t too keen on the idea in her initial response. But readers pushed back, as did this husband who defended his wife, who is also bisexual:

“Some individuals feel that “bisexual” is who they are, and to omit it feels like living a lie.”

Another person agreed:

“If “Bi in the Deep South” is comfortable enough with who she is to tell someone, she should not be advised to stay in the closet to any degree. She has the right to be honest with herself and her family and not go through life hiding.”

I humbly suggest that keeping one’s desires to one’s self is not called “living a lie” or “hiding,” it’s called being discreet.

These modern exhibitionists who feel a need to parade in front of the world every urge lurking in their groins  are selling themselves short.

We are so much more than our urges.

I submit that we are better off to define our lives by the discipline (also known as prudence) in which we live; by the justice we exhibit to others; by the temperance of our urges (as opposed to letting our urges define our lives); and by living a life of courage.

That is so much nobler than publicly proclaiming your sexual urges, don’t you think?

I submit that it is nobler to define our short life in this world by living lives of faith, hope, and charity.

I would suggest that living a life of chastity is ultimately more fulfilling than living one of promiscuity.

These modern exhibitionists diminish themselves by placing their desires ahead of virtue.


  1. jlmahan on April 9, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    I love this line. “I would suggest that living a life of chastity is ultimately more fulfilling than living one of promiscuity.”

    Years ago, girls would be labeled for their actions with boys, so they tried to keep it quiet. We all knew better. In more ways than one, personally, I fit this life style into that same classification. Everyone knew that those girls were the girls that didn’t have the kind of mothers around to love them enough to instill common morals into them.
    Unfortunately, the life we are living now, has been over run with those uncaring parents. That have opted to lay back and accept what ever their children want to do, rather than being the loving parent that taught their children right from wrong, that their actions did, in deed, have consequences, and most of all that they have to have respect for themselves before they could gain respect from others.

    That’s not “living a lie” that’s living life. Too often people take the easy road instead of the harder road that will, in the end, make them better people.

    Spreading that life style around for everyone to see, is just as demoralizing as those girls that ended up labeled are.

    • quinersdiner on April 9, 2013 at 3:27 pm

      I like your line, that they “have to have respect for themselves before they could gain respect from others.” Does one gain self-respect by parading their desires before the world? Since desires are often suspect, I urge discretion and prudence as a step toward building self-respect and finding happiness. (I’m glad you said self-respect, and not self esteem, by the way.)

  2. jlmahan on April 9, 2013 at 5:34 pm

    In my opinion the answer to your question is no. One does not gain self-respect by making a spectral of themselves. Causing others to be uncomfortable in your presents is the worst form of etiquette and nothing to be proud of.

  3. xPraetorius on April 10, 2013 at 12:52 am

    Nicely, gracefully, graciously said.

    — x

  4. tannngl on April 10, 2013 at 9:38 am

    It’s part of just moving or actually erasing the line of morality. They so hate God because of his moral laws. When anyone ‘comes out’ in any of these perversions, they are saying,” I’m ok with immorality” and so is everyone who encourages them is. They are looking for approval for their devant actions.
    It’s just part of the cultural move toward no discrimination. “The Kindergarten of Evil: HOw the Modern Liberal Thinks”. Any kind of discrimination is not allowed. It makes everything OK.

  5. deltaheavy on April 10, 2013 at 4:07 pm

    Living a lifestyle that’s goes against the will of God, and rationalizing it’s validity with the sinfull nature of human reason, is living the ultimate lie.

    • quinersdiner on April 10, 2013 at 4:16 pm

      Yes, it’s all about rationalization, but not reason. God has given us the ability to reason. We’re not using our critical-thinking skills by redefining marriage, or in the case of this post, of parading our urges on Facebook.