By Tom Quiner
The debate rages.
On one side are those who insist that the simple solution to teen-age promiscuity is more contraception.
On the other side are the abstinence advocates.
One side says its too late for abstinence, that the horses are out of the barn, so to speak. We need to be realistic and deal with the situation at hand with even more training on birth control methods. Even more, some of these same contraception advocates don’t see anything wrong with kids having sex, as long as they use contraception properly. And if that fails, as it so often does, well, just have an abortion.
The abstinence folks disagree and look at kids as human beings with more dignity and self-control that animals. They believe they can begin to corral some of the “horses” running wild with a serious emphasis on abstinence.
I thank everyone from both sides who have weighed in on this discussion, which was sparked by my blog post, “Abstinence vs. Contraception,” especially the teen-agers.
Here is some great input from another teen, named Ada:
“So what if we’re born with a strong sex drive? I was born with one, and I’m a teenage girl, right in the middle of that cycle you referred to, and I don’t have sex, and neither do I feel the need to have sex. There’s so much more to teenage life than raging hormones. Why don’t adults ever see that?
I’m not foaming at the mouth because I don’t have sex. I’ll give you one credit, though, that society does pressure me, as a girl, to have a boyfriend. Does that mean I go along with society? No, because I have friends that don’t have sex, and we’re all cool with that. But even if I didn’t, I would know that sleeping around is undesirable, because my parents have informed me of all the pros and cons, and the cons just seemed to trump any pros for me, so…
I don’t think teens like me should be concerned about birth control. We need to be aware of our hormones, yes, but we should, plain and simple, be encouraged to not have sex. And yes, in accordance with that, we should also be taught how to control ourselves.
Also, I think it is grossly devaluing to all humans to think of us as mere slaves to our biological urges. We’re humans for a reason, so that we don’t have to act like animals (ie. unrestricted sex, infanticide, cannibalism, violence, etc. etc.). We are above our hormones and natural urges. I usually have a strong, natural urge to punch someone in the face when they insult me. Does that mean I should do it? No. Wisdom tells me (as well as the Bible) that I should respectfully turn the other cheek. Is that repression to my natural urges? It is, in the moment, but an hour later I’ll probably be very thankful I didn’t go through with it.
I don’t think we need to adjust to society. I think society needs to readjust itself entirely. I think teenagers like me should stop being told it’s okay if we have sex, because clearly it’s not okay, because it leads to people being treated like sexual objects, which leads to betrayal and depression on top of all the risks of getting and STI or becoming pregnant.
Us teens already have so much on our plate. We are already responsible for our academic and financial future. Do we really need to pile sex on top of that?”