Atheist files discrimination lawsuit

In Florida , an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, “Case dismissed!”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling saying, “Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others.

The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays…”

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, “But you do. Your client, counselor, is woefully ignorant.”

The lawyer said,” Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists.”

The judge said, “The calendar says April 1st is April Fool’s Day. Psalm 14:1 states, ‘The fool says in his heart, there is no God.’ Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day.

Court is adjourned.”

[This came across my e-mail box this morning. I don’t know who wrote it, but it’s awfully funny. In these tragic times, we need a few moments of levity to help us cope with our sadness.]



  1. Tom Maly on December 18, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    Touche to the judge!! ;o)

  2. Atomic Mutant on December 18, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    It’s the typical Christian humor: “Everyone else is dumb, we should not have to care about justice or law.”

    • quinersdiner on December 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

      Where in the world did you come up with a conclusion like that? Rather touchy, aren’t we?! Relax. Smile. It’s a joke!

      • NotAScientist on December 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm

        This is only slightly better than ‘our god has a bear eat the atheist…isn’t that funny’ type of joke.

      • Atomic Mutant on December 19, 2012 at 12:46 am

        Honestly, I’ve been hoping to find good atheist jokes for a long time, I like to laugh, even about myself. But sorry, yours is simply not funny. It just shows the typical Christian arrogance, nothing more.

      • Bob Vance on December 19, 2012 at 3:00 pm

        I didn’t expect you to post that last joke. I even found it offensive. But I was trying to make a point.

        • quinersdiner on December 19, 2012 at 3:04 pm

          What was the point?

  3. Bob Vance on December 18, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    A priest and a nun are on the golf course. The priest is about to have the best game of his life and it is down to the last hole – a simple four foot putt. The ball catches the rim of the cup and rolls about five feet away from the hole. “G’Damn it, I missed”. The nun looks at him wide eyed in shock. The priest apologizes and squares up for his next put – and misses the shot completely. This time he throws down his club and once again yells, “G’Damn it. I missed it again”.

    The nun can’t take any more of this. She tells him in no uncertain terms that if he is not careful, lightning will strike him dead. The priest shakes it off, apologizes again, then lines up to make the shot. The ball rolls straight to the hole but stops half an inch from the hole. The priest is really upset now. “G’Damn it. I can’t believe I missed that.”

    Instantly, lightning flashes across the sky, hits the nun and kills her dead. A large voice booms from the clouds. “Damn – I missed.”

  4. Bob Vance on December 18, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    Jesus stands over the adultress. “He among you who is without sin, let though caste the first stone.” A large rock flies from the crowd, hits the adultress in the head, killing her dead. Jesus looks over to the person who threw the rock. “Mom!”

  5. Bob Vance on December 18, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    The Pope just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Since he’d never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. The reluctant chauffeur pulled over along the roadside, climbed into the back of the limo, and the Pope took the wheel. The Pope then merged onto the highway and accelerated to over 90 mph to see what the limo could do.

    Suddenly, the Pope noticed the blue light of the State Patrol in his side mirror, so he pulled over. The trooper approached the limo, peered in through the windows, then said, “Just a moment please, I need to call in.”

    The trooper called in and explained to the chief that he had a very important person pulled over for speeding. “How do I handle this, chief?” asked the trooper. “Is it the Governor?” questioned the chief. “No! This guy is even more important!”

    “Is it the President?” asked the chief.

    “No! Even more important!”

    “Well, who the heck is it?” screamed the chief.

    “I don’t know, sir,” replied the trooper, “but he’s got the Pope as his chauffeur.”