A modest proposal to end human abortion

By Tom Quiner

One to two million couples wait in line to adopt a child every year in the U.S.

Only 50,000 domestic adoptions actually take place each year. There just aren’t enough available children to meet the demand.

An additional 20,000 adoptions take place with couples who adopt children from abroad, as did my sister and her husband.

These statistics come to us from the Center for Bio Ethical Reform.

The demand is huge. The supply is small.

The economic model known as “supply and demand” presents the solution.

Quiner’s Diner is proud to present a modest proposal to increase the supply of adoptable children in the United States of America.

The time has come for “Fetal Auctions.”

It’s really quite simple. Americans abort a little more than a million babies a year. We have that many (and more!) couples who would have adopted these unwanted children if only given the opportunity.

These folks would pay a pretty penny to adopt one of these fetuses which would have been discarded otherwise.

There’s big money in adoption. For example, Catholic Charities doesn’t do it for the money, they do it as part of their mission to serve the needy. They offer a sliding scale that can range from $8000 to $25,000 per adoption. On the other hand, for private agencies fees range from $25,000 to $35,000.

Contrast this with the $400 to $700 Planned Parenthood gets per abortion.

Pocket change!

Fetal auctions would allow families desperate to provide a loving home to an unwanted child a marketplace to bid on human life, to save  human life.

Fetal auctions would give organizations that generate a chunk of their revenues from abortion, like Planned Parenthood, incentive to rethink their business model.

They have a gold mine lying at their doorsteps that they are squandering, choosing instead to discard this potential wealth in the dumpsters behind their clinics.

Fetal auctions would provide just the financial incentive they’d need to shift their financial model from “women’s reproductive health” into “fetal health.”

I know what you’re thinking. How would one go about pricing these pre-babies? Easy. Get E-Bay involved. They already know how to do it.

Obviously, they’d want to start a new division which would quickly outpace their current one. They might want to call it Fetal Bay, or F-Bay for short.

Here’s where things get interesting.

Baby boys are going to sell for more than baby girls. That’s just the way it is. Gendercide is pretty much accepted by the political Left. Sure they’ll squawk, but they don’t mean it. Planned Parenthood is complicit in it anyway, as you can see at Live Action Films, so you know the Democratic Party will tread lightly.

For Fetal Auctions to work best, we can’t let politicians get sentimental and try to impose price controls and level the price point for male vs female fetuses.

Or white vs. black.

Or blue-eyed vs. brown-eyed.

If a loving family is willing to pay an extra $5000 for a boy, well let them.

I know, I know, some of you are scandalized by the idea of fetal auctions. You think that it is demeaning to auction human life, that it’s the moral equivalent of the degrading slave auctions that took place in a more uncivilized chapter in our nation’s history.

Of course you are correct.

But is anything else in this country more degrading and uncivilized than abortion? And yet the president and most of his party think there’s nothing wrong with that. Yes, it is true that on occasion they are heard to mutter that abortion should be safe … but rare.

So fetal auctions will make abortion very rare. A lot of women contemplating abortion might think twice about going through with it if they’re able to end up $10,000 or $20,000 ahead if they give birth and put their child up for auction.

“Women’s reproductive health” would be untouched. If a woman chooses to abort her daughter, she can. But she’d have the “choice” to auction off the girl if the bucks were good enough.

And don’t go comparing fetal auctions to slave auctions. Slaves were sold into slavery. Fetuses, under Quiner’s Diner modest proposal, would be sold into freedom.

Sure, there are a few bugs to be worked out. But you’ve got to admit, auctioning a million fetuses into loving households sure beats discarding them in Planned Parenthood dumpsters.


  1. Robert Robinson on May 7, 2013 at 7:19 am

    Your idea is intriguing but prepare for some ideological combat. As a man who has adopted two girls from Korea because waiting lists even back in the 1970’s was three or more years long. I concur the option presented in your proposal should be advanced forthwith.
    Robert Robinson, a fellow Iowan.

    • quinersdiner on May 7, 2013 at 7:49 am

      It will be interesting to see what folks say. Thanks for writing.

  2. sally1137 on May 7, 2013 at 8:47 am

    Brilliant idea. Especially framing it from a business model perspective.

  3. Bob Vance on May 7, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    I’ve thought about this before. The problem is you will have women getting pregnant just so they can sell their baby. I think that would lead to all sorts of bad decisions and long term problems.

    Think about it. If you have three daughters under 18, you can net an easy $30k a year especially if you have the documentation to show a good lineage – like we have for horses and dogs and cats. Of course demand would soon decline and then only those cute, healthy babies would sell, which of course, like a good racing horse or hunting dog, you have to find the best stud out there so I guess that would open up a new market. Of cousrse, we would have to find a way to take care of those babies that don’t make the cut? Perhaps we could set up boxes on street corners – “discount babies, free to good home.”

    The above scenario may seem “out-there” but I have no doubt if money could be made, it would happen. As I said, I have thought about this before and I don’t see it ending well.

    • Bob Vance on May 7, 2013 at 12:24 pm

      I probably need some work on my sarcasm… Sorry

    • quinersdiner on May 7, 2013 at 1:19 pm

      At least it’s better than the current system that aborts a million plus human beings a year. Nonetheless, it IS a Modest Proposal.

  4. oarubio on May 7, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    On your side, Tom. Legalized abortion is the most immodest proposal of all time (includes 4+ billion years of it).