What does a Catholic say if invited to a gay wedding?

By Tom Quiner

The day is coming.

The culture is demanding that Catholics shed their faith and bend to the homosexual lobby that now controls the Democratic Party. For example, what happens if a Catholic is invited to a so-called gay wedding? To decline opens you up to being called a bigot, a hater, a homophobe or worse by the judgmental mob on the left.

Writing in the National Review, catholic commentator, Maggie Gallagher, provides this thoughtful, charitable response:

‘Here’s what I think.

We are born male and female, and marriage is the union of husband to wife that celebrates the necessity of the two genders’ coming together to make the future happen.

I know you don’t think that.

I know the law no longer thinks that. But I have staked my life on this truth.

The problem for me in celebrating your gay wedding, as much as I love you, is that I would be witnessing and celebrating your attempt not only to commit yourself to a relationship that keeps you from God’s plan but, worse, I would be witnessing and celebrating your attempt to hold the man you love to a vow that he will avoid God’s plan.

To vow oneself to sin is one thing, to try to hold someone you love to it — that’s not something I can celebrate. And I would be party to the idea that two men can make a marriage, which I do not believe.

On your happy day you should be surrounded by people who can honor your vow and help you keep it.

I can’t do that.

“Porneia” is a word in the Bible that has been much mistranslated. But I think it means a sexual relationship that cannot by its nature become a marriage. That’s why Christ said that marriage is forever, unless it is porneia.

I understand that you might well want to rupture our friendship over this, my honest view. I choose to love you both and keep you in my life. But let us somehow against all odds find a way to love each other as we are, and not how each of us would wish the other to be.”


  1. leftfooter on August 27, 2015 at 7:10 am

    I would not write such a letter. I will not use the word ‘gay’ in its current ideologically loaded sense.

    I do not knowingly have friends who are practising homosexuals, supporters of the homosexualist agenda, regular adulterers or fornicators, or supporters of abortion.

    I try to be a man of principle, or in their words, a ‘bigot’.

    God bless.

  2. encourage the faithful on August 27, 2015 at 10:08 am

    Tom, I have direct experience with this and am a member of Courage International whose very devoted executive director is Father Paul Check. When we speak of a person who is in the “homosexual” life, usually that person has been influenced by a demonic being. The SSA (same sex attracted) person who acts on those attractions is one of those whom I have described before as shunning anything holy and not just shunning but rebelling against God. In other words, the
    homosexual person has shunned God for the devil. To have anything to do with validating a person in this lifestyle is to cooperate with evil.

    What we do know is that for those of our loved ones who are afflicted with SSA (same sex attraction) they have a mental disorder even though society has chosen to honor the “new” ideology as a normal sexual variation. What we also know is that the practice and/or promotion of homosexuality (PPH) is an iniquity. By that I mean that it is a serious, unrepentant sin wherein the devil remains as a deep influence. We also know that because of this demonic influence, our loved ones, though they may benefit in some ways with psychotherapy, must be influenced by God to remove this degrading passion. We understand this because the words of the Bible tell us that God turned them over to their wanton depravities. The Catechism tells us that homosexual practice is gravely immoral even as we know that those who suffer from SSA must be treated compassionately. Where the grave sin comes in is that even though our loved ones have emotional problems they have made the choice to step over the line of their own free will. Now that they are “trapped” in the compulsion, the addiction, the free will is impaired.

    The affected homosexual person no longer responds to evil because God has allowed their thoughts to become futile. In fact, St. Paul, in Romans 1 tells us that God has turned certain grave sinners who are unrepentant over to the perverted lifestyle because of the way they have sinned over and over again. The Catholic bishops of the USCCB have also acknowledged this.

    Now, because our loved ones are in that lifestyle we cannot cooperate in it, but because our loved ones are of a confused mind, a disordered mind, we should take care how we respond when refusing to abet their lifestyle. I guarantee you that if you get judgmental on them, they will close up or go ballistic. You have to tread carefully and lovingly. Maggie G. has the right idea (although she goes a bit overboard) because to tell them the whole truth would be received with a closed heart and mind because, indeed, that is what has happened to them. To tell them the whole truth would beset (agitate) them. Do not belabor your reasoning to them, just tell them kindly and try to leave before the impending confrontation.

    • quinersdiner on August 27, 2015 at 2:44 pm

      Very good input.

      • encourage the faithful on August 27, 2015 at 3:56 pm

        The following sentence, “The affected homosexual person no longer responds to evil because God has allowed their thoughts to become futile,” probably should read, “The affected homosexual person no longer responds to evil appropriately because God has allowed their thoughts to become futile.

        I have no idea why I wrote it thusly, lol.


        • quinersdiner on August 27, 2015 at 4:18 pm

          Thanks for the clarification.