We do owe those with same-sex attractions an apology

By Tom Quiner

Which lifestyle would you encourage your child to pursue?

LIFESTYLE #1 will reduce his life expectancy by an average of 13.5 years according to medical data.

LIFESTYLE #2 will reduce his life expectancy by an average of 20 years according to medical data.

In light of the data, the obvious answer is neither one.

Lifestyle #1 refers to smokers. Lifestyle #2 refers to men who have sex with men.

Scientists and sociologists have produced reams of data on the medical implications of the gay lifestyle.

Pope Francis

Pope Francis

The data is relevant in light of Pope Francis’ recent comments on the subject of same-sex sexuality:

“I believe that the church not only should apologize to the person who is gay whom it has offended, but has to apologize to the poor, to exploited women, to children exploited for labor; it has to ask forgiveness for having blessed many weapons.”

Not surprisingly, many are confused. The Pontiff went on to say, “I repeat what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says: that they must not be discriminated against, that they must be respected and accompanied pastorally.”

We’ll return to the Pope’s comments in a moment.

For now, let’s review data.

Data provided by the Center for Disease Control reveals that men who have sex with men (MSM) are 44 times that of straight men to contract HIV, and 40 times that of women.

With syphilis, it is 46 times the infection rate of straight men and 71 times that of women.

Men who have sex with men are susceptible to a wide array of health risks at much higher rates than the general population, including Hepatitis B, anal cancer, anal fissures, and various anorectal trauma.

Men who have sex with men experience high rates of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) because of the rampant promiscuity found in the gay community. Anecdotal and statistical data both reveal that gay men have far more sexual partners than the heterosexual or even lesbian community. And the data seems to hold regardless of the country.

The Urban Men’s Health Study conducted in 2003 reports that over 30% of the gay men they studied frequented bathhouses, despite years of public health education on the risk of AIDs. These men had sex with an average of 27 other men per year.

In Amsterdam in the same year, a study reported that “single” gay men averaged 22 sex partners per year, while those in steady, committed relationships still had some eight different partners per year.

In a 2005 Canadian vaccine trial, gay men reported 7 partners in the last half year.

What is most disturbing about this data is the promiscuity in the gay community despite their full knowledge of the deadliness of AIDs.

There is a startling difference in the incidence in infidelity in committed heterosexual relationships compared to committed homosexual relationships. A large study reported that 94% of married men and women had but one partner in the previous year: each other. For co-habitating men and women, three out four had but one partner.

But a study by Joseph Harry, “Gay Couples,” dated though it is, reported that “Gay men reportedly had sex with someone other than their partner in 66 percent of relationships within the first year.”

There are mental health implications to the gay lifestyle as well. In a study conducted by Marie Tomeo, she reports:

“In research with 942 nonclinical adult participants, gay men … reported a significantly higher rate of childhood molestation than did heterosexual men and women. Forty-six percent of the homosexual men in contrast to 7% of the heterosexual men reported homosexual molestation.”

Ms. Tomeo’s study has flaws, but nonetheless suggests that a psychic wound wrought by childhood abuse affects that sexual orientation of some young men.

Other studies reveal that gay men suffer mental health issues disproportionate to the general population. Gay rights activists acknowledge the data, but blame it on societal “homophobia” and “bullying.” There is no denying that stigma may play a role in the mental health of any person.

However, a major study out of Denmark confirms that homophobia isn’t the real issue. Denmark has been “gay friendly” for decades, legalizing same-sex marriage in 2000. They discovered that men who had homosexual sex in the previous twelve months had much higher rates of major depression, bipolar disorder, panic disorder, agoraphobia and obsessive compulsive disorder than men who did not have sex with men in the previous twelve months. The Dutch researchers concluded that …

“… homosexuality is not only associated with mental health problems during adolescence and early adulthood, as has been suggested, but also in later life.”

Okay, that’s a lot to process. The bottom line is that living the gay lifestyle costs the average gay man twenty years off of his life expectancy.

Here in the United States, our government sued cigarette manufacturers. They took money from the lawsuits they won to invest in education programs to get people to live tobacco-free lives.

Good. Tobacco use declined as a result. People are living longer.

Ironically, our government celebrates the gay lifestyle and demands that everyone do the same, even though the data reveals it is more dangerous than smoking. Those who question the lifestyle are called “haters.”

Neither side should hate. In fact, Pope Francis has made it clear that we’re all on the same side. After all, we are God’s creation, as flawed as we each are. Who among us doesn’t family or friends with same-sex attractions?

And who amongst us doesn’t want the best for our family or friends? In light of the data above, I’m not quite sure to what the Pontiff refers when he calls on us to apologize. It is true that the Catechism of the Catholic says that those with same-sex attractions shouldn’t be discriminated against.

It also calls acting on such desires disordered. Acting on these unhealthy attractions is sinful.

I like that the Pope calls for those fighting disordered desires to be accompanied pastorally by me, you, the priesthood, and the entire Roman Catholic community. Let us embrace these, our brothers and sisters, in love and lead them away from the path to death towards the path to life.

The Church has been remiss in this mission in recent history. For that, we owe DO owe our broken family members an apology.

[Much of the data for this article came from the website, Facts About Youth.]


  1. Anonymous on June 30, 2016 at 4:42 pm

    What our culture suffers (among many disorders), is a twisted implementation of the word “love”. We’re told that unless we embrace, encourage and celebrate the “anything goes” nature of the myriad of sexual and relational lifestyles that are multiplying like viruses, we are bad people… We are to be shamed with labels like “homophobe” and “hater”. Considering the alarming data above, it seems that the opposite is true. We can and should love the person who suffers from same-sex attraction (or any other disordered inclination), but true love dictates that we encourage turning away from unhealthy, destructive behaviors…which can lead to isolation, depression, suicide…

    • quinersdiner on June 30, 2016 at 5:09 pm

      Bob, your last point is worth expanding on. Some 30% of gay youth attempt suicide by the age of fifteen. Thirty percent. How tragic. Thanks for writing.

  2. Juliet on June 30, 2016 at 5:46 pm

    We must love them, how do we love them? We love them by telling them the truth. And the truth is that without repentance and Jesus all sinners are destined for hell, no matter if a thief, murderer, adulterer, homosexual, immoral person, we are all in danger if we do not repent and walk with Jesus, this pope is disgrace.

    • quinersdiner on June 30, 2016 at 6:15 pm

      Thanks for your input, Juliet. Based on other public comments the Pope has made, I know he calls those with same-sex attractions to repentance. His latest comments certainly sow confusion, though.

      • Juliet on June 30, 2016 at 6:39 pm

        There is many videos showing the pope opposing the bible, shocking statements that none of true Christians would ever made. I do not even consider him as one knowing Christ. He said, that it is dangerous to have personal relationship with Jesus. It is unbelievable what this man is doing to Christianity.

        • quinersdiner on June 30, 2016 at 6:48 pm

          Juliet, be careful in taking things out of context with this or any Pope. I am not comfortable with some things Pope Francis has said, but there is no doubt that he believes in the Bible and a personal relationship with Christ.

          • Juliet on June 30, 2016 at 7:43 pm

            Have you seen his opinions? I think he says quite clearly what he believes. He is responsible for his teachings, and if he is misleading thousands of people, it is the duty of every born again christian to expose him. I am not a follower of pope but the Lord Jesus and it bothers me when people believe what that man says, a man whom people worship as God himself. I am sorry if you do not like my opinion but I was taught by the Holy Spirit to follow the God of truth, and I do not see the pope as the follower of the same God, the God of the bible. See I used to be a catholic and I know they are not very much interested in the bible. There is too much to explain in this short comment. It is not my intention to make you uspet but I am not going to be quiet because of the pope, who is that man ? My God says, do not fear any man but God alone. I do not like very much what the pope represents, I am sorry. All the best for you.


          • quinersdiner on June 30, 2016 at 7:51 pm

            Juliet, I do appreciate you taking the time to write and share your views. As a convert to Catholicism, I have these observations: Catholicism formed the Bible; 25% of Catholic Mass is pure scripture; our prayers are scripturally based. And we worship the same way as the early Church fathers.

  3. eclecticessayist on July 1, 2016 at 8:44 am

    I think you have accurately identified what Pope Francis was trying to convey. We owe gay individuals an apology for not effectively ministering to them. We have failed them. Even more, we have often turned them away from the Church.

    I do take exception with something in your conversation with Juliet in the comments above. Both of you seem to be calling on individuals with same-sex attraction to repent. Same-sex attraction is not a sin. A sin requires an act of the Will, and an attraction is not a willful act. It is same-sex behavior, or acting on those attractions, which is sinful.

    failing to recognize the distinction is one way Christians have failed in the past, and one of the reasons we need to apologize.

    • quinersdiner on July 1, 2016 at 9:06 am

      Good clarification, Doug. Thanks for pointing that out. I wasn’t clear.

  4. christianresurrection on July 1, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    I never thought it possible but I find your comments refreshingly similar to my own. You know, the old love the sinner hate the sin response. However, I know you have read the Old Testament and Revelations and understand the fate that awaits those who disobey God. If Christians truly love the sinner how long can we use platitudes and good intentions to convince them to “go and sin no more”.
    As a Christian I believe our obligation is to stand up and expose homosexuality for what it really is, same gender sex, an activity which spits in the face of God, nature and humanity.
    If the Christians of America could ever come together as one Church, one body of Christ, as intended I have no doubts that they could change the world. I mean really, do you think God or Jesus is concerned with what Church we belong to or what service or ritual is more important?
    God’s love is abundant and is hatred of sin is unyielding until Christ offered us a way to salvation. Christians can and should love the sinner but they must also be unyielding in their attempts to convince the sinner to “sin no more”.

    • quinersdiner on July 1, 2016 at 2:23 pm

      Well what do you know?! I wouldn’t say it quite the same as you, but the the idea is the same: all of us are called to repent of the sin that separates us from Christ; not embrace the sin as a lifestyle. We need to walk pastorally and lovingly with our brothers and sisters and sons and daughters who are on the wrong path and encourage conversion, not immersion in a destructive lifestyle. Christ demonstrated that people respond to love. He made it clear that His mission targeted the sinful. We are His agents on earth. Holy Spirit, show us the way.

  5. […] This is another nail in the coffin of the gay lifestyle. This blog discussed other health risks associated with men who have sex with men in an earlier post: “We do owe those with same-sex attractions an apology.” […]